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Here we'll give accounts of the many
koala related tragedies
Once people simply learn that koalas act
cute only to trick us into a vulnerable state, maybe there will be
less accidents. This is why we publish such
events. |
YES!!!
Bunnies have joined forces with Mering Co. to stop the enemy! The leader of the rabbits was quoted saying, "those damn peeps have been stealing our easter thunder for too long." |
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The plan of the koala
Have you ever wondered why the koala bears are so cute and cuddly? Of course you haven't! You just sat there like a tube of toothpaste and went, "awwww, look how cute!" The reason the koala is so cute is the same reason why you just sat there like a tube of toothpaste. It's the best camofluage God has given to any animal. I mean no offense to the panda enthusiasts, the panda's is good too. You'd never see a 900 pound panda sneaking up on you in an oreo factory. But unlike the panda, a koala can protect himself in any situation. While the koala may be much smaller, he is proportionally smarter. The koala lures you into a false sense of security, lets you approach him, then WHAAAP! You lost your hand! Hurry and attack with the other one! Too late, he has already severed your jugular! Well, i guess you're screwed now, huh? |
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More on Statue antidotes
The formula being worked on at the University of Science and Ecology was found ineffective. As strange as it sounds, the antidote worked
wonderfully during the first testing on last sunday but started causing strange effects wednesday. On sunday the antidote caused the subject's hand to liven up
but on wednesday it caused the subject to blow up. Scientists suspect foul play.
Marshmallow peeps are stupid
Seriously, they have no idea how do play chess or anything! One time,
I was about to kill a peep and he asked if we could play a game of chess for his life. He
only took one of my pieces!!! He was such a loser that I killed him in the fastest way ever. Man, it was really cool.
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Poor Monkey
This was the subject in testing. When his hand was brought back on sunday, he tried to pick his nose. Now he's all blown up.
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